I'm hanging out at Bonbon Break...and taking a break

Zippy was up right on time this morning, anxious to get to the bus stop for his first day of kindergarten. I had to remind him the bus wasn't there yet...and wouldn't be for another 45 minutes. He climbed on that bus at 8:15, waved to us from the window, and that was it. Our first school year has begun. My  house is eerily quiet now, in spite of the fact Bee is home with me today and insists we listen to the Thomas soundtrack over and over again. I try to imagine what Zip is doing right now. His class would be done with recess. Centers, maybe? I'm looking forward to seeing his sweet face when he steps off the bus at 4:00.

I'm going to take a little break from blogging for the next week or two, as we settle into our new routine. I will still be musing and managing, just quietly for a bit, and see you all back here again very soon.

In the meantime, I had my very first "original piece" published today over at Bonbon Break and I hope you'll make your way over there to read it! While you are there, be sure to look around a bit and show the ladies of Bonbon some love. The editors, Val and Kathy, are real mommas who are pursuing their own dreams with their website and have been such dears to work with. You can follow Bonbon Break on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest, and you can subscribe to the e-mag via email too.

For those of you with kiddos starting school, good luck! May your children be filled with curiosity and kindness as they venture off.

Love, Ellie

Saturday Spotlight on Multiracial Families: Respect, Compromise, & A Little Extra Cooking

Today, meet Nina and her gorgeous, multicultural family of four. Nina shares some great stories about how cultural differences led to a few unique dilemmas that, in the end, she and her husband resolved with respect, compromise, and a little extra cooking!

Tell us about your family. What makes you multiracial/multicultural?

My husband and I have been married for seven years and we have two sons, an almost 4-year old and a 7-month old. My husband is a second generation Polish-Ukrainian American and I am a 1.5 generation Filipino American.  We speak fluently our respective languages and try to teach them to our sons.

Back to School: Time To Get Organized!

I've always been a little, um, overzealous when it comes to organizing. I've had to let things go a bit more since the boys came along, but my inner organizer still makes regular appearances. On a good day, clutter annoys me. Toys on the floor? Fine. Mail and papers all over the kitchen counter? Ugh!!! And when I'm feeling stressed or have a lot going on, keeping things neat and orderly feels essential. I admit, I start to get a wee bit fanatical about it. Organized and prepared = predictable and manageable = less stress. And less stress is gooood.

So of course with my baby going off to kindergarten in a few days, I'm in full-on planning mode. It's starting to feel a lot like pre-baby nesting, which along with my recent and sudden aversion to bananas is a little weird. But no, I'm most definitely NOT expecting #3.

I thought I'd share the love and pass on to you, dear mommas and poppas, the fruits of my hyper-organized tendencies. So here are four ideas for getting organized for a new school year. If you'd like, you can download the lists I created for our family to use as templates for your own. You'll find the links at the end of the post.

Talking with my 5-year-old about racism

The other evening I asked my husband, "Do you think we should tell Zip about racism now?"

Over the past five years, we've talked openly about race and skin color and cultural differences. We've presented these as things to celebrate and appreciate. We've done a great job (I think) of helping Zip develop a strong sense of self and pride in himself and our family.

We've talked a little bit about how black people used to be treated differently and how unfair it was that people were treated differently because of skin color. But we hadn't told him that it still happens. We hadn't yet warned him that he may be judged because he is black or he might find himself teased or criticized or questioned about his family. I keep hoping it won't happen for another few years. Or ever. I find myself wanting to protect him from the harsh reality of modern-day racism for as long as I can.

Easy-Peasy Guide to Using RSS

This weekend's posts are outside my usual domains of parenting and family, but in the spirit of helping readers get the most out of Musing Momma and other blogs, I wanted to share what I have learned over the past few months. We'll file this under "Miscellaneous."

Did the last post convince you to give RSS a try? Awesome! Here is what you need to know - the basics of how to use RSS and some apps that make it super-convenient. I'm sure this has all been written a million times all over the internet, but my goal is to explain it as simply as I can (because, honestly, I don't understand any of the complicated stuff). I'm going to assume anyone reading this is starting from square one and try not to insult anyone's intelligence. I know my readers are smart mommas and poppas!

How to {easily} follow your favorite blogs & not miss a thing

This weekend's posts are outside my usual domains of parenting and family, but in the spirit of helping readers get the most out of Musing Momma and other blogs, I wanted to share what I have learned over the past few months. We'll file this under "Miscellaneous." 

Back before I started blogging regularly (so, like, a whole 10 months ago), I was pretty clueless about following blogs or, honestly, why I would even want to. As far as I could tell, blogs were just prettier versions of Facebook, where parents shared play-by-plays of their kids' lives so that a few relatives could follow along. (Nothing wrong with that, by the way!) But I eventually realized there is a Great Big World of Blogs out there with blogs on everything from technology, fashion, and home decorating, to crafts, photography, food, and, of course, parenting. If there is something you care about, no matter how obscure (Norse mythology? Chinchillas?), someone is probably blogging about it.

I'm going to guess there are other people like me out there (please, tell me I'm not alone!). I'm talking about those of you just stumbling upon the world of blogs, which is really like stumbling upon an ancient city because apparently blogs have been around a while (who knew?!) and who have no idea to do now that you are here. This post is for you!

Our Weaning Saga...It's Not Over Yet

I am supposed to wean Bee this week. At least, that was the plan.

Weeks ago, I set a date and I felt pretty good about it. I would have plenty of time to process and prepare, emotionally speaking. I asked around for ideas about how to explain weaning to a 2 1/2 year old. The time had come. There were good reasons:

1) I'm going out of town for a few days without the kids and the a natural break from nursing (3 days) seemed like a good opportunity to wean Bee.

2) Hubby is ready for us to be done. It is hard for him when I'm away or when he puts Bee to bed, and Bee fusses that he wants to nurse. In reality, I'm not so sure that weaning is going to put an end to fussing for Momma. I also think Bee's age may have a tiny bit to do with Hubby's questions about when we'll be done, but he hasn't said a word about Bee's age since I handed him a pile of resources on the benefits of extended breastfeeding!

3) Sometimes I am ready to be done. I'm pretty sure Bee isn't going to initiate weaning...ever...so sooner or later, I'm going to have to take the lead and wrap this thing up.

All very practical reasons.

But as the date drew closer, my heart started whispering, Not yet! Not yet! Not yet! As the date got closer my heart screamed louder, until it drowned out my oh-so-practical reasons.

More tips for long car rides with little ones

A couple of weeks ago I mentioned that I would do another post with travel tips. Here it is! I imagine I will forever be on a quest for ways to make long drives with the boys as pleasant and easy as possible. Now that there are four of us requiring tickets for air travel, flying to Vermont to visit family would run us close to $2,000. Um, yeah...we'll be driving a lot.

On our trip to Vermont at the end of June:
A) I realized that driving at night really is the way to go, and
B) I was reminded that having another adult in the car is a huge help. Huuuuuge!

On the drive up, Musing Poppa was with us. We left around 3:00 pm, so the last few hours were "after bedtime." It was so peaceful driving along with the boys conked out in their car seats! I wouldn't dare do it by myself, though, at least not on the drive to Vermont. There are some seriously remote stretches - the kind where you drive for 20 minutes before you pass another car and all you can see are trees. That is not the place I would want to end up broken down on the side of the road, alone with 2 little boys. I have a vivid image of Freddy or Jason or someone equally creepy dragging us off into the woods, never to be seen again. I'll pass on that, thank you very much.

A little science experiment

A few days ago Zip asked me what would happen if we added "regular" water to salt water. I explained we'd still have salt water, just not as salty. He was sort of confused. Like, "Well how come it's not as salty?" So I tried explaining how there is the same amount of salt but less water and so on, which sounds simple, but it was sort of an abstract concept to explain to a 5-year-old.

Then I had a little light bulb moment and came up with this experiment to demonstrate how it would work. I think once we got going he was way more interested in playing with food coloring than understanding dilution, but I thought it was a clever little demonstration anyway!

Saturday Spotlight on Multiracial Families: Thoughts from My Favorite 5-Year-Old

As this Spotlight thing has gotten rolling, I thought it might be fun to get a kid's point of view on his multiracial family. So, okay, my kid's point of view. Because you guys don't hear enough about my family here, right? I was curious to see how Zippy would answer some of the Spotlight questions and what his responses would say about his experiences thus far. What actually happened was that some of the questions were just too abstract for a 5-year-old, as evidenced by exchanges such as this: Me - How can you tell Daddy & I love each other? Zip - Because you got married. Me - Well, why do you think we got married? Zip - Because you love each other. Hmmm....okay.... makes sense I suppose. Still, some of Zip's answers did tell me a lot. Read on...

Back from the beach {Boohoo!}

Saturday we returned from a wonderful trip to Cape May, New Jersey. Zip has already informed me he misses the beach and I know just how he feels. We spent 7 whole days doing this:

And this:

Clingy toddlers: What's a momma to do?

Does this look familiar?

A few days ago I shared how clingy Bee has gotten lately - tantrums when I need to put him down, always wanting me to be the one that does things for him, and then the heart-wrenching meltdowns when I leave him.

I don't think we can "solve" normal developmental tasks for our children. That is their work to do. But I think we can help to point them in the right direction and then give them the time to get there. There are lists all over the internet about handling separation anxiety in little ones (here is one I like). If Bee was still an infant, I think the best we could do would be to make separations as smooth as possible and let it run its course, more or less. But now that he is 2 1/2, I think there is more I can do to address this with him directly and help him find ways to cope.

Mainstream mommas nurse toddlers too

August 1 - 7 is World Breastfeeding Week 2012

If we base our beliefs about nursing moms on what the media tells us, then women who nurse toddlers come in two varieties: 1) Moms who co-sleep and baby wear and feed their children spinach smoothies made from their very own organic vegetable garden (or was that just my own stereotype?!) and 2) Moms with strangely enmeshed relationships with their children who nurse them into kindergarten and then show up in the school cafeteria so the kid can have a nip of milk. Nursing past infancy is "extreme parenting," something that only a certain kind of mother would do.

The best baby shower gift ever

When I was 7 months pregnant with Zippy, Musing Poppa and I made the trek to Vermont for a visit, and my mom planned a baby shower for us while we were there. It was a wonderful Jack & Jill shower, with lots of aunts, uncles, and cousins there to celebrate with us. We received plenty of items from our baby registry and each guest also gave us a favorite children's book to start a library for our baby-to-be.

Then, after the customary gifts were opened, I received the very best baby shower gift of all. My mom explained that although our family couldn't be with us physically when Zip was born, they would all be with us in spirit and wanted to give us something to symbolize that. Then everyone lined up and, one by one, relatives presented us with little stones, baubles, and beads. These were then made into a labor necklace that I could wear in the hospital.

Don't go, Momma! {When your toddler wants you 24/7}

Recently I left the house to go to work as Bee sobbed, shrieking “Don’t go to work, Momma!” at the top of his lungs, his sweet little face crumpled in distress. This didn’t have the I’m-gonna-cry-‘til-I-get-my-way vibe of a tantrum. This was deep down please-don’t-leave-me-momma anguish. It was the same scene that had played out when I dropped him off at daycare the day before, fighting back my own tears as his ear-piercing pleas followed me out of the room. This is not the pretty side of motherhood. Memorable, yes. Pretty, no. How about you just pull my beating heart out of my chest with your bare hands instead?

What makes these moments so awful is that there is really nothing I can do to make it better at that moment. I can console and reason and try (unsuccessfully) to distract him, but in the end the only thing that he wants is for me to say, “Okay, Momma isn’t going anywhere.” And I can’t really quit my job, so….