Calling Multiracial Families: Who's in?

Okay y'all, I am taking the call for multiracial families beyond Facebook and to the far ends of the internet!

Here's the short story: Starting next month we'll have a new feature here on Musing Momma, shining the spotlight on multiracial families (or, families who just happen to be multiracial, because that is only one part of who a family is, right?!). I'll explain the spirit behind this feature first, and then at the end of this post you can find more information about how to get involved.

Ready, Set, Run! Neighborhood Race Day

Zippy is a kid of lofty ambitions. Turning our backyard into a nature preserve for squirrels, converting our house into a natural history museum, putting rocket-boosters on my car...none of these things seem out of reach to him. Not only does he come up with these ideas, but then he starts laying out his plans for how we'll do it. That is usually where I smile and nod or, if he starts getting too excited with his planning (When are we going to buy the oak trees for the squirrels, Momma?), provide a gentle reality check.

Sometimes I feel guilty that I can't or don't do more to support Zippy's big ideas.  I definitely want my kids to learn what it means to have goals or dreams, even grand ones, and to follow them through.

From only to big sib: Why your marriage makes a difference in how your child adjusts {Point 6}

This is the sixth in a series of posts on what research says about how kids handle the transition from only child to big sibling. It is based largely on a summary by Dr. Brenda Volling published in the Psychological Bulletin on-line in January. To read the other posts, click here.

Okay, so far we've talked about some different factors that affect how your child adjusts to becoming a big sibling (age, developmental level, personality, other changes going on), and about the role that parent-child relationships can play. Now, what about the role that your marriage plays? 

Point 6: Adding to your family may also change your relationship with your spouse. For a lot of couples, having a first child brings them closer together. They revel together in their adoration of this amazing person and do things as a threesome. When baby #2 comes along, many couples start feeling more like partners, in a practical sense rather than a romantic one. A lot of families with two or more children use the divide-and-conquer approach, which means less time together. Research suggests that, on average, marital satisfaction goes down with each child added to the family! Eek! (But Jim Bob and Michelle seem so darn happy with 19 kids! What is their secret? No, really... what is their secret?)

A song for the mommas and poppas

I'm generally an alt rock/indie kinda girl, but I'll admit I have a soft spot for Taylor Swift's singer/songwriter talents and the grace with which she handles herself. I may or may not follow her on Twitter. Although Hubby would rather Van Gogh his ears than listen to anything remotely country or pop, he did give me Swift's "Speak Now" album for Christmas a couple of years ago. He's sweet like that. And in return I swore I would never play said cd while he was in the house or my car. A promise I may have broken just once or twice. (Sorry, honey.)

Sneaky Pete

What do you get when you cross a very smart kid with the moral reasoning of a 5-year-old? A Sneaky Pete! Or, in our case, a Sneaky Zippy.

Behold, the magical power of stickers!

A couple of months ago, we stopped making Bee use a booster seat at the dinner table. I can't remember now why we did this except that he is tall enough to sit without one. I vaguely remember thinking it would be more safer and more convenient for him to climb onto a regular chair. Or maybe I was tired of the disgusting but inevitable collection of crumbs and dried food that hides under the booster. (How it gets there, I do not know!)

Regardless of the reason, getting rid of the booster was not a smart idea. Bee is in that 2-year-old phase of wanting to play much more than he wants to eat. If we let him, I'm pretty sure he'd choose dinosaurs and blocks over PB&J until he just wasted away. He won't stay at the dinner table and keeps wandering off to the playroom in the middle of meals. Any efforts to make him sit are usually met with a meltdown (dinnertime fun!) or a mischievous grin.

From only to big sib: Why your child's relationship with dad is so important {Point 5}

Last week we chatted about how mother-child relationships may be influenced by the arrival of a new baby and we've alluded to the fact that how moms handle things (managing their own stress and well-being, trying to stay affectionate and not suddenly resorting to physical discipline) can affect how kids adjust to becoming a big brother or big sister. Today's point from the research focuses on father-child relationships.

 

One of many reasons I care what girls are doing on TV

Zippy's new favorite tv show is Dino Dan. This recently replaced Wild Kratts as #1 most requested show in our house. Wild Kratts is great - entertaining and educational - but I love Dino Dan too. Besides the fact it feeds Zippy's passion for learning and teaches him about dinosaurs, here are four reasons I'm happy to let him watch:

How to get your family eating healthy snacks

After I posted about our efforts to eat healthier, one reader shared that she was inspired by the picture of the fruit basket but her husband does the grocery shopping and so it is hard for her to make changes to what they eat. I thought I'd share a few of our favorite EASY, healthy snacks. These are things you can put on your shopping list that require very little or no preparation at all!

And the winner of the book give-away is...

BETH CLAWSON! Beth had entry #8, which was the winning entry for the book give-away.  (Beth, I sent you a message through Etsy with instructions for sending me your address so that I can have the books sent to you.)

Thank you to everyone who took the time to enter, follow, and share! I am so excited to pass on some of my favorite children's books to the winner and I loved hearing about your favorite books.  Here are the titles that you all shared:

I got some love. Time to share it! {Liebster Award}

Around the time I started blogging regularly, that whole eight months ago, I came across a blog that had just received a Liebster Award. I thought to myself Wow, a blogging award?! I gotta get me one of those! But, considering I had 'round about two blog readers, it seemed pretty out of reach at that moment.

But guess what?! I got one! A couple of weeks ago Crystal at Ideally Speaking included me among her Liebster nominees. Woohoo! It made my day! Thank you, Crystal! (Check out one of my favorites from Crystal's blog: Mommy: That's my name don't wear it...ah who am I kidding.)

In reality, a Liebster looks like this:

But in my head, it looks a lot like this:

From only to big sib: Will your relationship with your first child change after the baby is born? {Point 4}

 

As I write these posts each week about how kids adjust to becoming big siblings, I keep worrying that I am going to really freak someone out. Parenthood is inherently filled with anxiety about doing the "right thing" (whatever that is) and not giving our kids too much to talk about with their therapists. I definitely don't want to add to expectant parents' anxiety about what things will be like when baby #2 arrives. The reason I wanted to do this series in the first place was so that parents could feel empowered by knowing what to expect and ways they could help their kids adjust, based on the research.

So, for anyone feeling a bit overwhelmed, I'd like to share this quote:

Musings on NC's Amendment One: Gay marriage is the modern-day equivalent of interracial marriage

A couple of months ago, on Valentine's Day, Hubby and I snuggled up to watch the HBO documentary, "The Loving Story." What struck me as I watched the film, which is about the 1967 Supreme Court case that resulted in anti-miscegenation laws being ruled unconstitutional, were the arguments used to justify bans on interracial marriage:

"It's unnatural."

"The Bible says it's wrong."

"If God wanted black and white people to marry, He wouldn't have put them on different continents."

"I don't have anything against black people, but I don't think they should be allowed to marry whites."

 Oh, and of course:

"Think about the poor children."

A chance to win three great books: Celebrating 100 posts!

Drum roll, please! Or maybe just bang on a pot with your pants off. That'll do. But be sure to put your socks on your hands first!

Somehow, I let my 100th post come and go without noticing. But we did hit 100 and so I think it is time for a celebratory give-away! As I mentioned yesterday, this give-away entails BOOKS. There is no fancy sponsor involved, just me giving to you as a thank you for being a part of this. I'm not sure if bloggers are supposed to give away stuff on their own. I may be committing some major blogging faux pas, but I think I've already done that a few times the past several months so what is once more?

Our Favorite Books Featuring Kids of Color

Last week, when I wrote about how it bothers me there aren't more black/brown kids in lead roles in children's television and movies, I mentioned that we make a point of having books in our home that show African-American children as central characters. One reader asked what some of my favorites are, and I thought Oooo, that would make a fun post! This way I can invite you all to share your favorites, too! We love books in our house and so I jump at chance to talk about the ones we enjoy and discover new ones.  

Plus, I decided this would be the perfect lead in that give-away I promised a few weeks back! Woop-woop!  What better give-away than great kid books? Okay, maybe cold hard cash...but I don't have those sort of resources here, so I hope you all will be happy with a chance to win some of the books below. I'll share the give-away tomorrow.

From only to big sib: It's about more than the baby {Point 3}

For anyone just joining in, over the past couple of weeks I've been sharing some highlights of the research on how kids adjust to becoming big sisters/big brothers. So far, we’ve talked about how reactions vary a great deal from child to child, and how age,developmental level, and personality affect how a child adjusts. 

Today’s “point” goes further into the reasons that some kids have an easier time adjusting than others. This is one of my favorite points, because it highlights how the whole environment influences a child, and it gives a lot to think about as far as making make the transition a smoother one. 

Point 3: When you introduce baby #2, it probably won’t be the only change in your big kid’s life. The birth of a baby is usually accompanied by a number of other adjustments and changes within a family. Here are just a few examples: 

When your toddler stutters: Our story

This morning I decided to pop in some home videos to watch with the boys. I picked a dvd from when Zippy was about 2 ½, thinking the boys would get a kick out of watching “little Zippy” and I would enjoy remembering what Zippy was like at Bee’s current age. The video was full of adorable moments, like Zippy singing “Itsy Bitsy Spider” and waving incessantly at the camera. The boys thought the waving was hilarious and kept waving back at him.

The video also captured some of Zippy’s worst stuttering.  It brought tears to my eyes, somehow touching me even more now than it did back then, maybe because of the distance time provides or maybe because that 2-year-old Zippy struck me as so vulnerable in his struggle to get his words out. His voice caught on his words, repeating the beginning “ba” sound in balloon several times before he gave up. “That!” he said, pointing to the balloon. At one point, he looked at me behind the camera. “Help,” he said. He just couldn’t make the word come out like he wanted to.