Saturday Spotlight on Multiracial Families: Bicultural Mama

I was really excited when Maria offered share a bit about her family and participate in the Saturday Spotlight. Maria is a Bicultural Mama. Actually, she is the Bicultural Mama, the force behind the blog of the same name! I especially loved hearing about Maria’s approach to raising her daughter in their multiracial/multicultural family. I imagine there are readers who will relate to her concern about not doing “enough” to pass on her Chinese heritage as well as her newfound appreciation for her parents’ decision to send her to Chinese School!

Please tell us about your family! Who are the members of your family? What makes you a multiracial/multicultural family?

My family includes myself (Chinese-American), my husband (Caucasian of mixed European descent) and our 3-year old daughter. We live in Long Island, NY. My husband and I met in a New York City cafe through a mutual friend. When I saw him (my future spouse), he wore a huge friendly grin and had sparkling smiling eyes. I could tell he was a good person, and I was right. Our daughter is a free spirit who loves to dance, sing, and give hugs. It's amazing how kids develop such unique personalities in just a few years.

What does your family enjoy doing for fun or to spend time together?

We are lucky enough to live near several beaches so during the summer months we will go to the beach on a weekend morning, get a slice of pizza for lunch, then leave afterward to spend the rest of the day at home. We also enjoy working on our organic garden located in a town community garden. One of my favorite memories is of our family cruise trip to the Caribbean. It was the first time we had taken a vacation as a family since our daughter was born. We finally had some extended time for all of us to spend together without having to worry about appointments, emails, and other daily life distractions. We really enjoyed being together.

How did your families and friends respond to your relationship with your husband? Was it an issue for any of them?

I had some concerns that my parents or his family may not totally approve, but fortunately they were fine. Both sides were very welcoming.

What do you and your partner do to keep your relationship strong? And how do you handle things you might disagree about?

When we give each other cards, we both tend to write very sweet and loving messages to each other. The most important thing though is to respect one another and not take each other for granted. Fortunately for the big decisions we tend to be on par with one another. Everyday smaller decisions we sometimes disagree on, but then we talk them out.

What are you most proud of when it comes to your family?

I'm proud that we put our family first. My husband and I are on the same page about this and it's not just talk, we really make an effort to keep our priorities straight.

What is your biggest challenge as a parent?

One of my biggest challenges is balancing raising my daughter while working. I am fortunate that I now work part time and from home, but it's hard to work when she's awake. She's at the age where she wants to spend all her time with mama, and I know this it a desire that will wane as she becomes older. So I do try to spend time with her. It just means I'm working after she goes to sleep late into the evening so I'm tired a lot (there's no sleeping in when you have a young child!). 

What is your philosophy or approach to raising a child in a multiracial/multicultural family?

Try to incorporate each side's culture in the child's everyday life. For us, it's in the form or watching or listing to children's Chinese language DVDs and CDs to celebrating Chinese New Year via food traditions and everything in between. Our family celebrates Chinese New Year through mainly food right now, and when our daughter is older we will do more in terms of taking her to multicultural events and explaining more the meanings behind the traditions. We also will dress our daughter in a traditional Chinese outfit and have pictures taken. I better understand now why my parents sent me to Chinese school as a child. They wanted to pass down the language and culture to their children, just like what I want to do with my own daughter. At the time I did not like Chinese School, but I did learn, and am glad I did. I hope my daughter will be accepting of both sides of her heritage.

What worries you most when it comes to your daughter?

Regarding culture, I worry that I'm not doing enough to ensure our daughter learns about half of her heritage - that it may be lost with her generation. In terms of general parenting, I worry about the usual things - is she eating right, getting enough sleep, learning enough at nursery school, etc. Ultimately I want to raise a well-adjusted, self-aware and happy child.

Does your family have any special traditions or celebrations related to your cultural/ethnic heritage? Have you had any difficult or negative experiences related to being a multiracial/multicultural family? We have not experienced any incidents related to being a multiracial/multicultural family. I think a lot has to do with the fact that we're in New York which is pretty diverse.

What do you think is the best thing about being a multiracial/multicultural family? I like to say it’s the best of both worlds because you're exposed to and have access to two cultures.

Stay tuned for our next Saturday Spotlight on Multiracial Families on July 28!

If your family is interested in participating in a future Spotlight, I'd love to hear from you! Please email me at musingmomma (at) gmail (dot) com. For more information about the Spotlight, click here.

Spotlight photo by Fernando de Sousa via Creative Commons - some rights reserved.