Family Rules

I’ve stumbled on an added benefit to our list of Family Rules, posted on the fridge. When Zippy does something he shouldn’t, I can point to the list and remind him of the rule. And he rarely argues with this. It’s like it’s not momma telling him to behave, it’s the rules talking.  Love it!

Last week his preschool class started the PATHS program. PATHS is an awesome social-emotional development program for kids. Awesome because it’s an evidence-based program, shown through oodles of solid research to improve self-regulation, emotional understanding, school readiness and social skills.  The scientist in me is a big fan of programs that have actual data behind them, showing they work.

Anyhoo, PATHS lesson one was on, guess what? Rules! The kids developed classroom rules and the first parent letter was all about how important rules are for creating structure and safety for kids, and included a place to write out our “Home Rules.” Boo-yah! We’re ahead of the game!

Our revised Family Rules

Zippy insisted we write our rules on the worksheet, instead of just printing off a new copy, so I took that as an opportunity to consolidate our list. When it comes to rules, less is more, and I realized there were some things on the list that could be combined. For instance, “Be kind” could cover “Use nice words” and “No teasing.” It also comes in handy when Zippy sings the stink-a-roo song to his brother or the boys don’t want to share their toys. 

We’ve always had rules, but putting them in writing has also helped me think twice about which rules are really important to our family and when I’m just making a new rule because I’m in a mood. (Come on, you know you do it too!) Part of the reason I felt inclined to write the rules down was because I felt like we were always whipping out new rules. I wondered if Zippy could really keep track of them or if it just felt like the game kept changing. Now when I tell Zippy he’s not allowed to do something or I set a limit, I try to fit it under one of our existing rules. If I can’t, then I guess I need to ask if it’s really necessary. Our Family Rules have added more structure to the expectations and I imagine that if it is helping make things clearer for me, it’s making things clearer for the kids, too.